You need to be conscious of yourbody language. It's advice you've heard time and time again. But, in most cases, you're warned that your nonverbal cues could be making you look unconfident. Shuffling feet, slouching, and small gestures — they're all evidence of a lack of self-assuredness that you do your best to avoid.
注意你的肢体语言。这是你一次次听过的建议。但,大部分情况下,你得到的都是这样的警示,即:你的肢体暗示让你看上去不够自信。脚动来动去,没精打采的以及一些小的动作都成了你想极力避免掉的,显现自己缺乏自信的证据。
But what about the exact opposite? Are there any body language habits that could be making you look arrogant? Yes, there definitely are certain movements and mannerisms that can make you look cocky and big-headed. Avoid these common ones, and you're sure to send the right message.
可反过来的情况你有想过吗?有没有一些肢体习惯让人看上去很傲慢呢?是的,确有一些行为让人看上去自大、傲慢。赶紧改掉这些常见的坏毛病吧,您一定能发出恰当的信息。
1. Avoiding eye contact
1.避开目光接触
"But wait!" you're likely thinking now, "I thought lack of eye contact was one of those things that could make me look unconfident." And that's true. But, depending on your demeanor, avoiding direct eye contact with people can also serve to make you look incredibly arrogant. Why? Well, to put it simply, it makes it look as though you're unwilling (and perhaps even too good) to actually engage in the conversation. Whether you're scanning the room for a better opportunity or repeatedly glancing down at your phone, it can easily make your conversational partner feel unworthy of your time and full attention.
不过,先等下!”你可能会想,“我原以为不正视别人会让自己看上去不自信。”是,确实是这样。但这还得看你的行为方式,避免直接与人眼神交流还可以让你看起来非常傲慢。为什么呢?好吧,就简单的说吧,因为那样会让你看上去不愿意(甚至感觉不真实)认真参与谈话。不管你是在扫描周围以找到一个更好的契机,还是不停瞥手机,都很容易让对方产生不值得让你给予时间和注意力的感觉。
2. Crossing your arms
2.交叉双臂
We all know that this isn't necessarily the most approachable posture. Even if it's subconscious, this stance closes you off from others. It makes you look inaccessible and perhaps even a little angry. You don't want to send the message that you're uninterested or too good to be there. So open up your posture. It instantly makes you appear friendlier and more willing to engage in conversations.
我们都知道这绝不是什么平易近人的姿势。哪怕它是潜意识的,这种姿势都会让你遭到排斥。因为它会使你看上去难以接近,甚至有点生气的感觉。你其实并不想给人以那样的信息,就是看上去漠不关心,没兴趣或者很虚伪的样子。所以请打开你的姿势。那样会瞬间让你变得更友好或者比之前更愿意融入谈话中。
3. Holding your chin too high
3.下巴抬太高
This is another one of those times when you need to walk a fine line. To appear confident, you want to hold your chin up. But, take it too far, and suddenly you seem condescending. People do not like to feel that someone is literally looking down at them when speaking. So make sure to strike a balance here. Focus on keeping your head level. That way, you won't run the risk of muttering to the floor, but you also won't take this confidence booster to the extreme.
这是另一个需要你小心的地方。为了看上去自信,你往往就会抬高下巴,但其实是做过了头,因为那样的话,你看上去立马会让人感觉高人一等。人们可不喜欢在谈话的时候感觉被对方轻视。因此这里一定要注意调衡。注意你头的高度。那样,你既不会冒着对地板讲话的风险,更不会看上去过于自信以至于让人反感。
4. Pointing your finger
4.拿手指别人
Remember when you were younger and your mom would lecture you to not point? There's a good reason — it can easily come off as a rude and aggressive gesture. Unfortunately, it's a trap that's a bit too easy to fall into. Whether you're waving your finger around in a heated discussion or simply trying to direct someone to the appropriate place, pointing often feels natural. But, if you want to stick to the safe side, do your best to avoid it and gesture with an open hand instead. It achieves the same result, without being quite so combative.
还记得小时候妈妈教导你不要拿手指别人吗?那是很有道理的,因为那样的姿势表现得很粗鲁,也很有攻击性。不幸的是,那确是一个太容易让人掉进去的陷阱。不管你是在一个热烈讨论的场合挥舞你的手指,还是只是简单地给人指路,“指”这个行为似乎看上去是如此地正常、自然。但如果你想保险一点的话,就请尽量避免这样的姿势。你可以直接用手啊。用整个手既可以达到一样的效果又不至于看上去对别人不敬。
5. Checking your watch
5.看手表
This one should be obvious. However, if you've ever been engaged in a conversation with someone who continues to not-so-subtly glance at his wrist (or the time on his phone), you know that far too many people do this very thing. Of course, this gesture immediately portrays a high level of boredom--as if you're checking the time to see how soon you can escape. It's another one of those habits that make you appear to think that you're too important to be there. So do your best to avoid it.
这一点应该是显而易见的。如果你曾与那样的人有过谈话,就是不断看手表(或手机上的时间),看时间的动作又不敏锐或者说又不巧妙,你会发现,有很多人还是会做这样的行为。当然,这种姿势立马能表现出你感到非常无聊。就好像你正在看时间,看还有多久能结束并离开。这是另外一种让你看上去自以为了不起,自大的习惯。因此请尽量避免。
6. Sighing
6.叹气
Yes, letting out a deep sigh can feel good every now and then — but that doesn't mean you want to do it while someone else is speaking.
While you might not necessarily consider it body language, it's still a nonverbal cue that can send a pretty strong message. Most people equate sighing with being uninterested, exasperated, or judgmental about what's being said. Even if that wasn't your intention, a heavy sigh will almost always be taken the wrong way.
是的,时不时地叹气感觉还是很好的,但这并不意味着在别人讲话的时候,你还想要那么做。即使你并没有把叹息当成什么肢体语言,它却是一种非语言类暗示,且能够发出强烈的信息。大部分人会把叹息和不感兴趣,恼怒或者对别人所说的东西武断评价等同起来。尽管你不是有意而为,深深的叹息总会被人误解。
7. Forgetting about your facial expressions
7.忘记你的表情
A completely deadpan face can cause you to look unconfident and unengaged, so you want to make sure to be expressive. But you also need to be careful about what expressions you use. An obvious eye roll, a raised eyebrow, or pursed lips can all make your conversational partner feel uneasy and self-conscious. You're better off keeping your facial expressions as neutral (and polite!) as possible.
一张完全面无表情的脸会让你看上去不自信且心不在焉的样子,于是你就想着要表情丰富一点。但关于表情的使用还是要小心为妙。一个明显的翻白眼,扬扬眉,或者撅撅嘴都能让对方感觉不安和不自在。你最好让你的表情更适中(和礼貌!)
Much of the advice you hear about body language advises ways to tweak your mannerisms to appear more confident. But you don't want to swing so far in that direction that you come off as cocky. Stay away from these seven common habits, and you'll avoid falling into that arrogance trap.
你所听到的关于肢体语言的建议基本都是提倡调整姿势,以示更加自信。但你并不想改变过头以至于看上去变得自大。所以远离这七个常见的小习惯,就不会落入傲慢的陷阱了。
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